What is forever?
I don’t think I can imagine myself being with someone “forever” anymore. It just doesn’t feel right to give myself to someone. It doesn’t feel right to love like that. This might sound a bit strange, but I don’t picture myself having a serious relationship any further than my first relationship. I feel like the commitment involved is something not a young adult understands, not even I can comprehend yet. And there is always the possibility of infidelity. People’s feelings would get hurt. It gets even more messy when people know about it. If I were to get into a relationship, it would only be for a brief companionship and sex. There is an end to everything because everything is temporary. But then again, I never know what fish I will catch in the vast ocean.
It might be my naivety or my newfound optimistic outlook on life, but I’m still hoping I can find someone to settle down with. I don’t want to play games, I don’t want to experiment, I just want someone who’s willing to live his life with me, and me with him.
My first wasn’t a bad relationship, but it definitely left a bitter taste in my mouth. Maybe that contributes to my outlook, since I don’t think it can get worse that that, really.
